by Steve Tanner
Silicon Valley Business Ink
September 19-25, 2003

Weddings in the United States generate tens of billions of dollars each year -- and that doesn't include the presents, estimated at $10 billion per year, according to a 2000 Bride Magazine survey. But while younger couples often consider wedding gifts the best way to replace thrift store toasters and bachelor-era dishes, a new trend in charitable donation registries is taking root.

Anne Schafer and Mike Buckley, who were married on June 25, 2003 and live in San Francisco, decided to forgo the traditional gift registry for a number of reasons.

"There are a lot of things we feel very strongly about," says Schafer, a medical student at the University of California, San Francisco. Her husband is a high school teacher. "As a teacher and a stduent, we feel our ability to support these causes is limited by our financial wherewithal."

In addition, Schafer and Buckley had lived together for a few years and had plenty of things. So, instead of wedding gifts, they asked guests to donate to charities including Loaves and Fishes, Nature Conservancy, and A Better Chance -- through JustGive.org (www.justgive.org).

"Sixty percent of couples getting married these days already live together, so many of them are looking for alternatives to traditional registries," says Bethany Robertson, executive director of the I Do Foundation, a nonprofit that encourages the wedding industry to be more socially conscious.

I Do, based in Washington D.C., links marrying couples to nonprofit organizations seeking contributions and serves as a clearinghouse for socially conscious approaches to weddings. "We like to say we help copule have their wedding cake and share it, too," Robertson says.

In addition to setting up registries whereby wedding guests can donate to charities instead of buying the bride and groom a new blender, the organization sets up traditional gift registries whereby 8 percent of the purchase price of gifts bought from participating stores - including Target and Cooking.com - is donated to charity. I Do has a similar program for honeymoons, through tourism service providers.

Schafer and Buckley set up their donation registry through Oakland-based JustGive.org (www.justgive.org). They, too, have a Charity Wedding Registry, but offer much more in addition.

"Anyone can come to our site and make donations to any charity they'd like," says Colleen Patrick-Goudreau, senior creative and content director for JustGive. "In April 2003, we launched our automated wedding registry. People go to the registry, provide some information about themselves, and then they choose the charities they're interested in -- out of 850,000."

Like Schafer and Buckley, Fremont-based couple Pami Vyas and Neel Patel found JustGive.org through a Web search.

The couple also did a traditional gift registry, but they invited 315 guests to their August 2nd wedding and decided they didn't need that much stuff. Through JustGive.org, they set up a donation registry to benefit The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, National Park Foundation, United Way, and End World Hunger.

"It's good for people who don't need a lot of stuff," says Vyas. "I think many of my friends will be doing this when they get married. Word of mouth is the best marketing for this."

Robin Jellum, who is marrying sweetheart Gloria Consola on Sept 20, also found JustGive through a Web search, Jellum and Consola each own a house, one of which will be sold, and decided it didn't make sense to add more things to their collective stash.

"Gloria and I both had separate households full of everything we already needed, so we thought it would be a good idea to have people give gifts to people who needed them," says Jellum, who, along with his fiancee, is supporting the Autism Society of America, American Red Cross, and CARE (Cooperative for Assistance and Relief Everywhere).

Jellum and Consola sent out invitations asking guests not to buy them gifts.

And while I Do and JustGive have particular expertise in helping couples plan charitable wedding registries, most charities are happy to work with couples directly, says Community Foundation Silicon Valley (CFSV) communications director Michelle McGurk.

"We've heard different stories of young people giving to charities for weddings, bar mitzvahs, and bat mitzvahs," McGurk says. "Almost any local charity would be happy to work with a family on something like this."

Also, McGurk says, couples are beginning to give donations on behalf of wedding guests, instead of party favors. Suchdonations are often indicated by a card at each guest's place setting.

CFSV became involved with the September 20 wedding of local copule Katie Bauer and Bob Runnells, who wanted to support a charitable fund in honor of their deceased friend and former CFVS staff member Elizabeth Anobo.

McGurk says Bauer and Anobo were roommates in college and close friends until Anobo's death three years ago. Along with family members of the bride and groom, CFSV set up a registry and ultimately raised roughly $1,000 for the Elizabeth Anobo Fund, which in turn donates money to organizations that support the arts and neighborhood improvement programs in the South Bay.

McGurk believes charitable wedding registries strike closer to the heart of what marriage really is all about.

"if you think about what a wedding is supposed to mean, having something that gives back to the community is a beautiful foundation for a marriage," says McGurk. "It really shows that the celebration is not about the party or the gifts."

Unless, of course, the gift is knowing your wedding helped create a better future.